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All's Well That Ends Well/Act 4
ACT IV. SCENE 1. Without the Florentine camp. first Lord with five or six Soldiers in ambush. FIRST LORD. :He can come no other way but by this hedge-corner. When you sally :upon him, speak what terrible language you will; though you :understand it not yourselves, no matter; for we must not seem to :understand him, unless some one among us, whom we must produce :for an interpreter. FIRST SOLDIER. :Good captain, let me be the interpreter. FIRST LORD. :Art not acquainted with him? knows he not thy voice? FIRST SOLDIER. :No, sir, I warrant you. FIRST LORD. :But what linsey-woolsey has thou to speak to us again? FIRST SOLDIER. :E'en such as you speak to me. FIRST LORD. :He must think us some band of strangers i' the adversary's :entertainment. Now he hath a smack of all neighbouring languages, :therefore we must every one be a man of his own fancy; not to :know what we speak one to another, so we seem to know, is to know :straight our purpose: choughs' language, gabble enough, and good :enough. As for you, interpreter, you must seem very politic. But :couch, ho! here he comes; to beguile two hours in a sleep, and :then to return and swear the lies he forges. PAROLLES. PAROLLES. :Ten o'clock. Within these three hours 'twill be time enough to go :home. What shall I say I have done? It must be a very plausive :invention that carries it ;they begin to smoke me: and disgraces :have of late knocked too often at my door. I find my tongue is :too foolhardy; but my heart hath the fear of Mars before it, and :of his creatures, not daring the reports of my tongue. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] :This is the first truth that e'er thine own tongue was guilty of. PAROLLES. :What the devil should move me to undertake the recovery of this :drum: being not ignorant of the impossibility, and knowing I had :no such purpose? I must give myself some hurts, and say I got :them in exploit: yet slight ones will not carry it: they will say :Came you off with so little? and great ones I dare not give. :Wherefore, what's the instance? Tongue, I must put you into a :butter-woman's mouth, and buy myself another of Bajazet's mule, :if you prattle me into these perils. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] :Is it possible he should know what he is, and be that he is? PAROLLES. :I would the cutting of my garments would serve the turn, or the :breaking of my Spanish sword. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] :We cannot afford you so. PAROLLES. :Or the baring of my beard; and to say it was in stratagem. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] :'Twould not do. PAROLLES. :Or to drown my clothes, and say I was stripped. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] :Hardly serve. PAROLLES. :Though I swore I leap'd from the window of the citadel,— FIRST LORD. {Aside.] :How deep? PAROLLES. :Thirty fathom. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] :Three great oaths would scarce make that be believed. PAROLLES. :I would I had any drum of the enemy's; I would swear I recovered :it. FIRST LORD. {Aside.] :You shall hear one anon. PAROLLES. :A drum now of the enemy's! within. FIRST LORD. :Throca movousus, cargo, cargo, cargo. ALL. :Cargo, cargo, cargo, villianda par corbo, cargo. PAROLLES. :O, ransom, ransom! Do not hide mine eyes. seize and blindfold him. FIRST SOLDIER. :Boskos thromuldo boskos. PAROLLES. :I know you are the Muskos' regiment, :And I shall lose my life for want of language: :If there be here German, or Dane, low Dutch, :Italian, or French, let him speak to me; :I'll discover that which shall undo the Florentine. SECOND SOLDIER. :Boskos vauvado:—I understand thee, and can speak thy tongue. :Kerelybonto:—Sir, :Betake thee to thy faith, for seventeen poniards :Are at thy bosom. PAROLLES. :O! FIRST SOLDIER. :O, pray, pray, pray!— :Manka revania dulche. FIRST LORD. :Oscorbi dulchos volivorco. FIRST SOLDIER. :The General is content to spare thee yet; :And, hoodwink'd as thou art, will lead thee on :To gather from thee: haply thou mayst inform :Something to save thy life. PAROLLES. :O, let me live, :And all the secrets of our camp I'll show, :Their force, their purposes: nay, I'll speak that :Which you will wonder at. FIRST SOLDIER. :But wilt thou faithfully? PAROLLES. :If I do not, damn me. FIRST SOLDIER. :Acordo linta.— :Come on; thou art granted space. with PAROLLES guarded. FIRST LORD. :Go, tell the Count Rousillon and my brother :We have caught the woodcock, and will keep him muffled :Till we do hear from them. SECOND SOLDIER. :Captain, I will. FIRST LORD. :'A will betray us all unto ourselves;— :Inform 'em that. SECOND SOLDIER. :So I will, sir. FIRST LORD. :Till then I'll keep him dark, and safely lock'd. Exeunt. SCENE 2. Florence. A room in the WIDOW'S house. BERTRAM and DIANA. BERTRAM. :They told me that your name was Fontibell. DIANA. :No, my good lord, Diana. BERTRAM. :Titled goddess; :And worth it, with addition! But, fair soul, :In your fine frame hath love no quality? :If the quick fire of youth light not your mind, :You are no maiden, but a monument; :When you are dead, you should be such a one :As you are now, for you are cold and stern; :And now you should be as your mother was :When your sweet self was got. DIANA. :She then was honest. BERTRAM. :So should you be. DIANA. :No: :My mother did but duty; such, my lord, :As you owe to your wife. BERTRAM. :No more of that! :I pr'ythee, do not strive against my vows: :I was compell'd to her; but I love thee :By love's own sweet constraint, and will for ever :Do thee all rights of service. DIANA. :Ay, so you serve us :Till we serve you; but when you have our roses :You barely leave our thorns to prick ourselves, :And mock us with our bareness. BERTRAM. :How have I sworn? DIANA. :'Tis not the many oaths that makes the truth, :But the plain single vow that is vow'd true. :What is not holy, that we swear not by, :But take the Highest to witness: then, pray you, tell me, :If I should swear by Jove's great attributes :I lov'd you dearly, would you believe my oaths :When I did love you ill? This has no holding, :To swear by him whom I protest to love :That I will work against him: therefore your oaths :Are words and poor conditions; but unseal'd,— :At least in my opinion. BERTRAM. :Change it, change it; :Be not so holy-cruel. Love is holy; :And my integrity ne'er knew the crafts :That you do charge men with. Stand no more off, :But give thyself unto my sick desires, :Who then recover: say thou art mine, and ever :My love as it begins shall so persever. DIANA. :I see that men make hopes in such a case, :That we'll forsake ourselves. Give me that ring. BERTRAM. :I'll lend it thee, my dear, but have no power :To give it from me. DIANA. :Will you not, my lord? BERTRAM. :It is an honour 'longing to our house, :Bequeathed down from many ancestors; :Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world :In me to lose. DIANA. :Mine honour's such a ring: :My chastity's the jewel of our house, :Bequeathed down from many ancestors; :Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world :In me to lose. Thus your own proper wisdom :Brings in the champion honour on my part :Against your vain assault. BERTRAM. :Here, take my ring: :My house, mine honour, yea, my life, be thine, :And I'll be bid by thee. DIANA. :When midnight comes, knock at my chamber-window; :I'll order take my mother shall not hear. :Now will I charge you in the band of truth, :When you have conquer'd my yet maiden-bed, :Remain there but an hour, nor speak to me: :My reasons are most strong; and you shall know them :When back again this ring shall be deliver'd; :And on your finger in the night, I'll put :Another ring; that what in time proceeds :May token to the future our past deeds. :Adieu till then; then fail not. You have won :A wife of me, though there my hope be done. BERTRAM. :A heaven on earth I have won by wooing thee. Exit. DIANA. :For which live long to thank both heaven and me! :You may so in the end.— :My mother told me just how he would woo, :As if she sat in's heart; she says all men :Have the like oaths: he had sworn to marry me :When his wife's dead; therefore I'll lie with him :When I am buried. Since Frenchmen are so braid, :Marry that will, I live and die a maid: :Only, in this disguise, I think't no sin :To cozen him that would unjustly win. Exit. SCENE 3. The Florentine camp. the two French Lords, and two or three Soldiers. FIRST LORD. :You have not given him his mother's letter? SECOND LORD. :I have deliv'red it an hour since: there is something in't that :stings his nature; for on the reading, it he changed almost into :another man. FIRST LORD. :He has much worthy blame laid upon him for shaking off so good a :wife and so sweet a lady. SECOND LORD. :Especially he hath incurred the everlasting displeasure of the :king, who had even tuned his bounty to sing happiness to him. I :will tell you a thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with :you. FIRST LORD. :When you have spoken it, 'tis dead, and I am the grave of it. SECOND LORD. :He hath perverted a young gentlewoman here in Florence, of a most :chaste renown; and this night he fleshes his will in the spoil of :her honour: he hath given her his monumental ring, and thinks :himself made in the unchaste composition. FIRST LORD. :Now, God delay our rebellion: as we are ourselves, what things :are we! SECOND LORD. :Merely our own traitors. And as in the common course of all :treasons, we still see them reveal themselves till they attain :to their abhorred ends; so he that in this action contrives :against his own nobility, in his proper stream, o'erflows :himself. FIRST LORD. :Is it not meant damnable in us to be trumpeters of our unlawful :intents? We shall not then have his company to-night? SECOND LORD. :Not till after midnight; for he is dieted to his hour. FIRST LORD. :That approaches apace: I would gladly have him see his :company anatomized, that he might take a measure of his own :judgments, wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit. SECOND LORD. :We will not meddle with him till he come; for his presence must :be the whip of the other. FIRST LORD. :In the meantime, what hear you of these wars? SECOND LORD. :I hear there is an overture of peace. FIRST LORD. :Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded. SECOND LORD. :What will Count Rousillon do then? will he travel higher, or :return again into France? FIRST LORD. :I perceive, by this demand, you are not altogether of his :counsel. SECOND LORD. :Let it be forbid, sir: so should I be a great deal of his act. FIRST LORD. :Sir, his wife, some two months since, fled from his house: her :pretence is a pilgrimage to Saint Jaques-le-Grand: which holy :undertaking with most austere sanctimony she accomplished; and, :there residing, the tenderness of her nature became as a prey to :her grief; in fine, made a groan of her last breath; and now she :sings in heaven. SECOND LORD. :How is this justified? FIRST LORD. :The stronger part of it by her own letters, which makes her story :true, even to the point of her death: her death itself which :could not be her office to say is come, was faithfully confirmed :by the rector of the place. SECOND LORD. :Hath the count all this intelligence? FIRST LORD. :Ay, and the particular confirmations, point from point, to the :full arming of the verity. SECOND LORD. :I am heartily sorry that he'll be glad of this. FIRST LORD. :How mightily, sometimes, we make us comforts of our losses! SECOND LORD. :And how mightily, some other times, we drown our gain in tears! :The great dignity that his valour hath here acquired for him :shall at home be encountered with a shame as ample. FIRST LORD. :The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together: :our virtues would be proud if our faults whipped them not; and :our crimes would despair if they were not cherished by our :virtues.— a Servant. :How now? where's your master? SERVANT. :He met the duke in the street, sir; of whom he hath taken :a solemn leave: his lordship will next morning for France. The :duke hath offered him letters of commendations to the king. SECOND LORD. :They shall be no more than needful there, if they were more than :they can commend. FIRST LORD. :They cannot be too sweet for the king's tartness. Here's his :lordship now. BERTRAM. :How now, my lord, is't not after midnight? BERTRAM. :I have to-night despatch'd sixteen businesses, a month's length :apiece; by an abstract of success: I have conge'd with the duke, :done my adieu with his nearest; buried a wife, mourned for her; :writ to my lady mother I am returning; entertained my convoy; and :between these main parcels of despatch effected many nicer needs: :the last was the greatest, but that I have not ended yet. SECOND LORD. :If the business be of any difficulty and this morning your :departure hence, it requires haste of your lordship. BERTRAM. :I mean the business is not ended, as fearing to hear of it :hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue between the fool and :the soldier?—Come, bring forth this counterfeit module has :deceived me like a double-meaning prophesier. SECOND LORD. :Bring him forth. Soldiers. :Has sat i' the stocks all night, poor gallant knave. BERTRAM. :No matter; his heels have deserved it, in usurping his :spurs so long. How does he carry himself? FIRST LORD. :I have told your lordship already; the stocks carry him. But to :answer you as you would be understood: he weeps like a wench that :had shed her milk; he hath confessed himself to Morgan, whom he :supposes to be a friar, from the time of his remembrance to this :very instant disaster of his setting i' the stocks: and what :think you he hath confessed? BERTRAM. :Nothing of me, has he? SECOND LORD. :His confession is taken, and it shall be read to his face; if :your lordship be in't, as I believe you are, you must have the :patience to hear it. Soldiers, with PAROLLES. BERTRAM. :A plague upon him! muffled! he can say nothing of me; hush, hush! :FIRST LORD. :Hoodman comes! Porto tartarossa. FIRST SOLDIER. :He calls for the tortures: what will you say without 'em? PAROLLES. :I will confess what I know without constraint; if ye pinch me :like a pasty I can say no more. FIRST SOLDIER. :Bosko chimurcho. FIRST LORD. :Boblibindo chicurmurco. FIRST SOLDIER. :You are a merciful general:—Our general bids you answer to what :I shall ask you out of a note. PAROLLES. :And truly, as I hope to live. FIRST SOLDIER. :'First demand of him how many horse the duke is strong.' What say :you to that? PAROLLES. :Five or six thousand; but very weak and unserviceable: the troops :are all scattered, and the commanders very poor rogues, upon my :reputation and credit, and as I hope to live. FIRST SOLDIER. :Shall I set down your answer so? PAROLLES. :Do; I'll take the sacrament on 't, how and which way you will. BERTRAM. :All's one to him. What a past-saving slave is this! FIRST LORD. :You are deceived, my lord; this is Monsieur Parolles, the gallant :militarist (that was his own phrase),that had the whole theoric :of war in the knot of his scarf, and the practice in the chape of :his dagger. SECOND LORD. :I will never trust a man again for keeping his sword clean; nor :believe he can have everything in him by wearing his apparel :neatly. FIRST SOLDIER. :Well, that's set down. PAROLLES. :'Five or six thousand horse' I said—I will say true—or :thereabouts, set down,—for I'll speak truth. FIRST LORD. :He's very near the truth in this. BERTRAM. :But I con him no thanks for't in the nature he delivers it. PAROLLES. :Poor rogues, I pray you say. FIRST SOLDIER. :Well, that's set down. PAROLLES. :I humbly thank you, sir: a truth's a truth, the rogues are :marvellous poor. FIRST SOLDIER. :'Demand of him of what strength they are a-foot.' What say you to :that? PAROLLES. :By my troth, sir, if I were to live this present hour, I will :tell true. Let me see: Spurio, a hundred and fifty, Sebastian, so :many; Corambus, so many; Jaques, so many; Guiltian, Cosmo, :Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred fifty each; mine own company, :Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred fifty each: so that the :muster-file, rotten and sound, upon my life, amounts not to :fifteen thousand poll; half of the which dare not shake the snow :from off their cassocks lest they shake themselves to pieces. BERTRAM. :What shall be done to him? FIRST LORD. :Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my condition, and :what credit I have with the duke. FIRST SOLDIER. :Well, that's set down. 'You shall demand of him whether one :Captain Dumain be i' the camp, a Frenchman; what his reputation :is with the duke, what his valour, honesty, expertness in wars; :or whether he thinks it were not possible, with well-weighing :sums of gold, to corrupt him to a revolt.' :What say you to this? what do you know of it? PAROLLES. :I beseech you, let me answer to the particular of the :inter'gatories: demand them singly. FIRST SOLDIER. :Do you know this Captain Dumain? PAROLLES. :I know him: he was a botcher's 'prentice in Paris, from whence he :was whipped for getting the shrieve's fool with child: a dumb :innocent that could not say him nay. LORD lifts up his hand in anger. BERTRAM. :Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; though I know his brains are :forfeit to the next tile that falls. FIRST SOLDIER. :Well, is this captain in the Duke of Florence's camp? PAROLLES. :Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy. FIRST LORD. :Nay, look not so upon me; we shall hear of your lordship anon. FIRST SOLDIER. :What is his reputation with the duke? PAROLLES. :The duke knows him for no other but a poor officer of mine; and :writ to me this other day to turn him out o' the band: I think I :have his letter in my pocket. FIRST SOLDIER. :Marry, we'll search. PAROLLES. :In good sadness, I do not know; either it is there or it is upon :a file, with the duke's other letters, in my tent. FIRST SOLDIER. :Here 'tis; here's a paper. Shall I read it to you? PAROLLES. :I do not know if it be it or no. BERTRAM. :Our interpreter does it well. FIRST LORD. :Excellently. FIRST SOLDIER. :Reads. 'Dian, the Count's a fool, and full of gold,—' PAROLLES. :That is not the duke's letter, sir; that is an advertisement to a :proper maid in Florence, one Diana, to take heed of the :allurement of one Count Rousillon, a foolish idle boy, but for :all that very ruttish: I pray you, sir, put it up again. FIRST SOLDIER. :Nay, I'll read it first by your favour. PAROLLES. :My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest in the behalf of the :maid; for I knew the young count to be a dangerous and lascivious :boy, who is a whale to virginity, and devours up all the fry it :finds. BERTRAM. :Damnable! both sides rogue! FIRST SOLDIER. :Reads. :'When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it: : After he scores, he never pays the score; :Half won is match well made; match, and well make it; : He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before; :And say a soldier, 'Dian,' told thee this: :Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss; :For count of this, the count's a fool, I know it, :Who pays before, but not when he does owe it. : Thine, as he vow'd to thee in thine ear, : PAROLLES. BERTRAM. :He shall be whipped through the army with this rhyme in his :forehead. SECOND LORD. :This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold linguist, and the :armipotent soldier. BERTRAM. :I could endure anything before but a cat, and now he's a cat to :me. FIRST SOLDIER. :I perceive, sir, by our general's looks we shall be fain to hang :you. PAROLLES. :My life, sir, in any case: not that I am afraid to die, but that, :my offences being many, I would repent out the remainder of :nature: let me live, sir, in a dungeon, i' the stocks, or :anywhere, so I may live. FIRST SOLDIER. :We'll see what may be done, so you confess freely; therefore, :once more to this Captain Dumain: you have answered to his :reputation with the duke, and to his valour: what is his honesty? PAROLLES. :He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister: for rapes and :ravishments he parallels Nessus. He professes not keeping of :oaths; in breaking them he is stronger than Hercules. He will :lie, sir, with such volubility that you would think truth were a :fool: drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be swine-drunk; :and in his sleep he does little harm, save to his bedclothes :about him; but they know his conditions and lay him in straw. I :have but little more to say, sir, of his honesty; he has :everything that an honest man should not have; what an honest man :should have he has nothing. FIRST LORD. :I begin to love him for this. BERTRAM. :For this description of thine honesty? A pox upon him for me; :he's more and more a cat. FIRST SOLDIER. :What say you to his expertness in war? PAROLLES. :Faith, sir, has led the drum before the English tragedians,—to :belie him I will not,—and more of his soldiership I know not, :except in that country he had the honour to be the officer at a :place there called Mile-end to instruct for the doubling of :files: I would do the man what honour I can, but of this I am not :certain. FIRST LORD. :He hath out-villanied villainy so far that the rarity redeems :him. BERTRAM. :A pox on him! he's a cat still. FIRST SOLDIER. :His qualities being at this poor price, I need not to ask you if :gold will corrupt him to revolt. PAROLLES. :Sir, for a quart d'ecu he will sell the fee-simple of his :salvation, the inheritance of it; and cut the entail from all :remainders and a perpetual succession for it perpetually. FIRST SOLDIER. :What's his brother, the other Captain Dumain? SECOND LORD. :Why does he ask him of me? FIRST SOLDIER. :What's he? PAROLLES. :E'en a crow o' the same nest; not altogether so great as the :first in goodness, but greater a great deal in evil. He excels :his brother for a coward, yet his brother is reputed one of the :best that is; in a retreat he outruns any lackey: marry, in :coming on he has the cramp. FIRST SOLDIER. :If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray the :Florentine? PAROLLES. :Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count Rousillon. FIRST SOLDIER. :I'll whisper with the general, and know his pleasure. PAROLLES. :Aside. I'll no more drumming; a plague of all drums! Only to :seem to deserve well, and to beguile the supposition of that :lascivious young boy the count, have I run into this danger: yet :who would have suspected an ambush where I was taken? FIRST SOLDIER. :There is no remedy, sir, but you must die: the general says you :that have so traitorously discovered the secrets of your army, :and made such pestiferous reports of men very nobly held, can :serve the world for no honest use; therefore you must die. Come, :headsman, off with his head. PAROLLES. :O Lord! sir, let me live, or let me see my death. FIRST SOLDIER. :That shall you, and take your leave of all your friends. him. :So look about you; know you any here? BERTRAM. :Good morrow, noble captain. SECOND LORD. :God bless you, Captain Parolles. FIRST LORD. :God save you, noble captain. SECOND LORD. :Captain, what greeting will you to my Lord Lafeu? I am for :France. FIRST LORD. :Good Captain, will you give me a copy of the sonnet you writ to :Diana in behalf of the Count Rousillon? an I were not a very :coward I'd compel it of you; but fare you well. BERTRAM, Lords, &c. FIRST SOLDIER. :You are undone, captain: all but your scarf; that has a knot on't :yet. PAROLLES. :Who cannot be crushed with a plot? FIRST SOLDIER. :If you could find out a country where but women were that had :received so much shame, you might begin an impudent nation. Fare :ye well, sir; I am for France too: we shall speak of you there. Exit. PAROLLES. :Yet am I thankful: if my heart were great, :'Twould burst at this. Captain I'll be no more; :But I will eat, and drink, and sleep as soft :As captain shall: simply the thing I am :Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart, :Let him fear this; for it will come to pass :That every braggart shall be found an ass. :Rust, sword! cool, blushes! and, Parolles, live :Safest in shame! being fool'd, by foolery thrive. :There's place and means for every man alive. :I'll after them. Exit. SCENE 4. Florence. A room in the Widow's house. HELENA, Widow, and DIANA. HELENA. :That you may well perceive I have not wrong'd you! :One of the greatest in the Christian world :Shall be my surety; 'fore whose throne 'tis needful, :Ere I can perfect mine intents, to kneel: :Time was I did him a desired office, :Dear almost as his life; which gratitude :Through flinty Tartar's bosom would peep forth, :And answer, thanks: I duly am informed :His grace is at Marseilles; to which place :We have convenient convoy. You must know :I am supposed dead: the army breaking, :My husband hies him home; where, heaven aiding, :And by the leave of my good lord the king, :We'll be before our welcome. WIDOW. :Gentle madam, :You never had a servant to whose trust :Your business was more welcome. HELENA. :Nor you, mistress, :Ever a friend whose thoughts more truly labour :To recompense your love: doubt not but heaven :Hath brought me up to be your daughter's dower, :As it hath fated her to be my motive :And helper to a husband. But, O strange men! :That can such sweet use make of what they hate, :When saucy trusting of the cozen'd thoughts :Defiles the pitchy night! so lust doth play :With what it loathes, for that which is away: :But more of this hereafter.—You, Diana, :Under my poor instructions yet must suffer :Something in my behalf. DIANA. :Let death and honesty :Go with your impositions, I am yours :Upon your will to suffer. HELENA. :Yet, I pray you: :But with the word the time will bring on summer, :When briers shall have leaves as well as thorns, :And be as sweet as sharp. We must away; :Our waggon is prepar'd, and time revives us: :All's well that ends well: still the fine's the crown; :Whate'er the course, the end is the renown. Exeunt. SCENE 5. Rousillon. A room in the COUNTESS'S palace. COUNTESS, LAFEU, and CLOWN. LAFEU. :No, no, no, son was misled with a snipt-taffeta fellow there, :whose villanous saffron would have made all the unbaked and :doughy youth of a nation in his colour: your daughter-in-law :had been alive at this hour, and your son here at home, more :advanced by the king than by that red-tail'd humble-bee I speak :of. COUNTESS. :I would I had not known him! It was the death of the most :virtuous gentlewoman that ever nature had praise for creating: if :she had partaken of my flesh, and cost me the dearest groans of a :mother, I could not have owed her a more rooted love. LAFEU. :'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady: we may pick a thousand :salads ere we light on such another herb. CLOWN. :Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of the salad, or, :rather, the herb of grace. LAFEU. :They are not salad-herbs, you knave; they are nose-herbs. CLOWN. :I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I have not much skill in :grass. LAFEU. :Whether dost thou profess thyself,—a knave or a fool? CLOWN. :A fool, sir, at a woman's service, and a knave at a man's. LAFEU. :Your distinction? CLOWN. :I would cozen the man of his wife, and do his service. LAFEU. :So you were a knave at his service, indeed. CLOWN. :And I would give his wife my bauble, sir, to do her service. LAFEU. :I will subscribe for thee; thou art both knave and fool. CLOWN. :At your service. LAFEU. :No, no, no. CLOWN. :Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve as great a :prince as you are. LAFEU. :Who's that? a Frenchman? CLOWN. :Faith, sir, 'a has an English name; but his phisnomy is more :hotter in France than there. LAFEU. :What prince is that? CLOWN. :The black prince, sir; alias, the prince of darkness; alias, :the devil. LAFEU. :Hold thee, there's my purse: I give thee not this to suggest :thee from thy master thou talkest of; serve him still. CLOWN. :I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always loved a great fire; :and the master I speak of ever keeps a good fire. But, sure, he :is the prince of the world; let his nobility remain in his court. :I am for the house with the narrow gate, which I take to be too :little for pomp to enter: some that humble themselves may; but :the many will be too chill and tender; and they'll be for the :flow'ry way that leads to the broad gate and the great fire. LAFEU. :Go thy ways, I begin to be a-weary of thee; and I tell thee :so before, because I would not fall out with thee. Go thy ways; :let my horses be well looked to, without any tricks. CLOWN. :If I put any tricks upon 'em, sir, they shall be jades' tricks, :which are their own right by the law of nature. Exit. LAFEU. :A shrewd knave, and an unhappy. COUNTESS. :So he is. My lord that's gone made himself much sport out of him; :by his authority he remains here, which he thinks is a patent for :his sauciness; and indeed he has no pace, but runs where he will. LAFEU. :I like him well; 'tis not amiss. And I was about to tell you, :since I heard of the good lady's death, and that my lord your son :was upon his return home, I moved the king my master to speak in :the behalf of my daughter; which, in the minority of them both, :his majesty out of a self-gracious remembrance did first propose: :His highness hath promised me to do it; and, to stop up the :displeasure he hath conceived against your son, there is no :fitter matter. How does your ladyship like it? COUNTESS. :With very much content, my lord; and I wish it happily effected. LAFEU. :His highness comes post from Marseilles, of as able body as :when he numbered thirty; he will be here to-morrow, or I am :deceived by him that in such intelligence hath seldom failed. COUNTESS. :It rejoices me that I hope I shall see him ere I die. I have :letters that my son will be here to-night: I shall beseech :your lordship to remain with me till they meet together. LAFEU. :Madam, I was thinking with what manners I might safely be :admitted. COUNTESS. :You need but plead your honourable privilege. LAFEU. :Lady, of that I have made a bold charter; but, I thank my :God, it holds yet. CLOWN. CLOWN. :O madam, yonder's my lord your son with a patch of velvet :on's face; whether there be a scar under it or no, the velvet :knows; but 'tis a goodly patch of velvet: his left cheek is a :cheek of two pile and a half, but his right cheek is worn bare. LAFEU. :A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so :belike is that. CLOWN. :But it is your carbonadoed face. LAFEU. :Let us go see your son, I pray you; I long to talk with the young :noble soldier. CLOWN. :Faith, there's a dozen of 'em, with delicate fine hats, and :most courteous feathers, which bow the head and nod at every man. Exeunt. Category:Article Subpages